This is inconvenient

I have three dead Nords bleeding and making a mess everywhere, a Khajiit that just fainted and the family that owns this inn alternately threatening to call the guards, thanking us and screaming very very loudly. I was never good at this part - what should I do?

Turn yourself in to the guards.

He's right! Turning yourself in is always the best option if you are innocent.

I hate to agree with the Vigilant, but if you really are innocent, turn yourself in and let the guards handle it. If they attack you, though, all bets are off.

Hmph.

The recently-deceased seemed to think they had some sort of immunity from the guards. But very well, if the family can decide if they want to stop screaming or not, I will remain when they call the guards.

Although, in all honesty, I only killed one of them. He seemed to take quite a bit of offence to the fact that I accidentally blocked his path. Actually, speaking of which, I need to check him. He might not be dead.



Mhm. Not dead, just unconscious. Must have gone into shock and passed out. Might want to mix him up a potion to dull the pain. Nothing too intensive, though. It's not like he'll need his eyes to answer the guards' questions.

To get back on topic, the Khajiit that frequents this... book-space. What do you know about him?

I'msorry tell them I'm sorry I didn't mean to but he was going to hurt her and I was scared and I don't know what I was doing and I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry they can keep the gold I'm going I'm going away I'm so sorry they were nice to me I shouldn't have done that in their inn but they were going to hurt her and I couldn't stop myself I'm sorry tell them I'm sorry Khenarthi I made a mistake I'm so sorry.

I'm already down the road I don't want to go to jail I want to go home and she was nice to me and gave me soup and I couldn't stop myself I"m sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

Well. This is awkward.

Since my 'accomplice' is evidently halfway to Bruma by now I've been left to shoulder the blame. As it turns out, this village is a bit of a monster hot-spot. If it's not wolves or dire bears it's trolls. The point is that the three dead humans were part of a sort of militia against the aforementioned monster attacks. Imperial presence here is light to say the least - from the looks of it, the four guards that arrested me were all they had.

So now since the one that started the killing is, again, halfway to Bruma, I'm left with the blame. The remains of the militia refuse to work unless I'm punished. But as I happily pointed out to the guardsmen, punishing me would be entirely unlawful. So instead I'm being held in 'protective custody' until some outsider like myself just so happens to go solve their problem wink wink nudge nudge.

It's funny. If they knew who I really was they would likely be whooping and cheering that they'd caught me.

And waste the chance to get bloodied, beaten, impaled in short order, as I'm pretty sure this is what will likely happen.

Certainly, I haven't been to Cyrodill in a while. Wonder if Ivranel still around Chorrol these days.

Don't rush. I quite enjoy being stuck in a village in the middle of nowhere with a handful of violent thugs waiting for the chance to exact their revenge on me.

Since you seem to refuse to write in Cyrodiilic, I clearly have no choice but to re-purpose every page you write on as latrine paper.

And clearly they simply want to bask in my sparkling personality.

In all seriousness, we will discuss payment or other reward once we meet.

I'm not quite sure how you think that would be an issue. Since the Vigilants are all clustered in Cheydinhal for their incompetent little trap, what exactly are they going to do? Immediately mount up and make all possible haste to me? I'd pass them on the road and never get so much as a second look.

IF YOU WANT TO KILL, JOIN THE ARENA

IT'S WHERE I GOT SO GOOD AT KILLING

I think twenty years of having to look after myself were a little bit more practical than fighting sweat-soaked men in bondage gear in the sand for a paying audience's amusement.