The Stormcloak and the Thalmor, Chapter 10

What in the name of fuck is this.

(A large, visible ink spot forms on the page, as if someone knocked over an inkwell)


Does the book talk to Ma'Vassa? How can it er write back?

What.

Ok look, what you got there is some weird daedric ledger thing. It lets a bunch of weirdos talk to each other no matter where they are, so long as they write in the book.

Right now, you got at least four people and a dozen or so Vigilants looking at what you're writing.

I wouldn't suggest giving out where you are.

This is a joke, yes? The book is simply enchanted by a prankster, trying to mess with Ma'Vassa's head? Oh, Ma'Vassa will kill the stupid merchant who sold it to her!

...but on the off chance that um the argonian is right please do not mention Ma'Vassa's writings. They were meant for private reading. For Ma'Vassa's er...friend, yes.

Look, what you milk the eel too, or polish your whetstone, or whatever you like to call it, that ain't my business. Had a few folks like that at the Bard College too, yeah?

I won't mention it, but we've all seen it now, miss. Or mister.

I can't tell via text, but your writing is awful flowery.

Oh. Well. Shit. So Ma'Vassa's writings are out for all of Tamriel to read?

And the commissioner wished for it to be flowery. Ma'Vassa does not get to pick her customers, but Ma'Vassa prefers the more savage and to the point. Ma'Vassa does not see the point for the build up.

Well. On that we can agree at least.

But you may wanna be more cautious with what you pen down.

Ma'Vassa will be more careful in the future.

...Do pages ripped out still carry the enchantment? Ma'Vassa purchased this book because she wanted to finish writing her manuscript.

Yep. It's also an infinitely replicating book from what we can tell - can't get rid of it, can't burn it, can't smash it, cut it, trample it, nothing.

It also means infinite pages.

Do NOT rip out the page. You'll regret trying to damage the book.

Oh yeah, it'll also try to kill you should you try to harm it in any way, shape, or form.

It's kind of a lifelong thing, we think.

Oh, perfect. So Ma'Vassa will never need to buy paper again. That is good to know.

But Ma'Vassa cannot rip it out or write her stories on the paper. That is not good to know, as Ma'Vassa was supposed to write a story with a Vigilant, a werewolf, and a vampire.

Ma'Vassa should not have written that last line, please ignore it. Why should Ma'Vassa not take the pages out? Ma'Vassa already ripped out one.

You are into some kinky shit, khajiit.

Tell me, do you even know what you're writing half the time? Seems like you're coming up with some pretty fanciful notions of how anatomy works.

Ma'Vassa is not into anything like that, Ma'Vassa was just commissioned by a friend of hers. And Ma'Vassa is not used to filtering her thoughts when she writes them down!

YOU READ NONE OF MA'VASSA'S WRITINGS.

Hey, I ain't one to judge what you're into. Smut and romantic novels are an important part in expressing the views one holds about such things. I myself have penned a few books by the names of "Shoreleave" and "Freika's Mishaps" dealing with romance and pornographic material in a tasteful, tact manner.

Whatever your kink, fetish, or fancy of romance is, it is yours to have.

Unless it's, like, kids. But that's more the Altmer priesthood.

Hopefully.

Ah, Ma'Vassa has read Shoreleave. It is one of the books that inspired her to write more...tasteful and graphic writings. For coin only. Ma'Vassa does not read her own works out of pleasure.

You wouldn't happen to know of The Mage and The Lumberjack's Wife would you? Just out of pure curiosity.

Well. Yes.

It's one of my favorites.

Oh, okay. Ma'Vassa was just curious. And...er.. The Adventurer's Bane: A Tale of Vampires?

Meh, read it. The thing wasn't that impressive, really. It's like, "hey, vampires are sexual deities, not terrible undead horrors made by Molag Bal after raping a woman to death as a spit in the face of the Aedra".

The language was also a bit too prosy for my liking.

"Her willowy hair billowed in the wind, tinted ever so slightly with the sea salt of the Anvil harbor. Oh, how she longed to see her beloved night-stalker again, to feel his capricious attentions to her. One moment tender as a babe's skin, the next as loud as a thunderbolt."

It's just kind of heavy handed, you know? Kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Shame. A lot of potential talent, too. I'm sure the author would do good going to the Bard's College... y'know, if the guards let Khajiit into the cities.

...What is Krahkt? A sentient slug? Ma'Vassa cannot understand what it says.

And yes, looking back on it, Adventurer's Bane was not very good, even if it was one of Ma the author's first works. If only the author could burn it away like it never existed.

Ma'Vassa wishes that the Bard's College would let her join, but she had to learn how to write stories from travelling bards who would barter with the caravans.

Krahkt is a sentient anus. It's speech is it passing gas.

Ma'Vassa, we all got things we regret. Writing, decisions, et cetra. It's just good to move on, y'know?

It's no big thing. And at least you know how to write and read.